Trying: The First Step Towards Failing

Maceo, "Nextel Chirp" (feat. Fats) - Out of all the descriptive tropes music critics like to throw around, I don't think too many have suffered more abuse from improper use than "minimal", at least in the pop world. I like to think the problem comes from a generation of jazz douchebags teaching their Beefheart-adoring little brothers how to say "Listen to all the stuff he's not playing", partially because making fun of jazz douchebags is the Lord's own work, but more significantly because it's still plenty easy to paint a big-ass song with that brush. I mean, fuck, I've actually seen people talk about "Drop It Like It's Hot" as a triumph of pop minimalism, conveniently ignoring the fact that "Drop It Like It's Hot" makes you wade through negative space like an Arcade Fire song confronts you with instruments right up front; I guess it's probably for the best that Rachel Stevens' maximalist masterpiece only sold about nine copies worldwide, if only because people's heads might have started exploding from the sheer strain of listening to it.

And then on the other hand you've got something like "Nextel Chirp", which is nothing less than the kind of song that fills me with occasional not-hate for the process of learning about hip-hop from the fucking internet. I know I've said before how I don't listen to the radio, but I don't care how weird the Neptunes and Franz Ferdinand have made it - I refuse to believe there's stuff that sounds this artfully spare popping up with any regularity. I mean, here's a song that makes "Still Tippin'" sound like "Big Pimpin'" by comparison; the slickest trick anywhere on this track, aside perhaps from some nicely-done double-tracked vocal moments, has to be the brilliant use of that godawful infuriating 2-way Nextel beep, and even that just kinda shows up every so often. There's no trace of any of the vast expanses of echo or space that tend to show up on most of today's coolest production jobs; "Nextel Chirp" makes all its pleasures wholly available right there on the surface, even to the point where it took me a good three or four listens before realizing I was in the presence of a song eminently deserving of my attention.

When you make minimal musical demands on your audience, you see, you leave the door wide open for anything performative to dart out into the sunlight, and god almighty, Maceo is gone like a motherfucker right out the gate. I mean, god almighty, if you think you pissed your friends off reminding them of the difference in hoes' cupidity back then versus now, you might just want to go ahead and lock yourself in the fallout shelter for a few months now and save yourself the grief; my cup practically overfloweth with all sorts of sickeningly awesome lines that only look comical coming out of my goofy ass, the alpha and omega of which HAS to be that batshit crazy hook in the chorus that'll tempt you to start throwing around the n-bomb in casual conversation more than just about anything in the post-Chappelle world. I mean, the verses are nothing to sneeze at (oh, I can't resist: "You ain't gotta chirp me/Talkin' bout some co-caine/'Specially if you 'ferrin/To some motherfuckin' chump change"), but that hook could heal the lame and cure the sick; it can, after all, occasionally be very fun for a song to leave absolutely no doubt in your mind as to its meaning (this is why everyone with any sense loves "Get Low"). And the really neat trick about this song is that the more you listen to it, the more stuff in the verses you start picking up on, and the more you realize that the verses make things just as plain as the hook, and and and. Just a blowaway performance, top to bottom. What the fuck is any other song in the country doing on top of the charts, anyway? (Click here to buy Straight Out da Pot from Amazon.com)

Young Gunz, "Friday Night" - And by way of comparison, here's something which could probably be described as stripped-down but sure only sounds like a big-ass commotion to me. Unsurprisingly, the credit goes straight to super-producer Just Blaze; Chris & Neef do a perfectly serviceable job on the cut, but with a cowbell and a bass hit that gigantic, yr hands would end up in the air even if the vocals were me reading a phone book. It's just one of those instantly-physically-compelling beats, a minor stunner in the vein of "99 Problems", and really if I need to say anything else, you should try listening to more music. (Click here to buy Tough Luv from Amazon.com)