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Dancepunk vs. electroclash; Franz Ferdinand vs. the Scissor Sisters; Bloc Party vs. Art Brut - these days, it hardly feels like the year's begun in earnest until the indie-rock hype machine conjures up a pair of sides for slavish consumers like myself to choose between. It's all bullshit, of course, but at least it's fun bullshit, or at least it can be when the music's actually good enough all around to be worthy of agonizing over. In that spirit, let's talk about what appears to me to be easily the most enjoyable (and, to be fair, least substantiated - like most everything else you read on this blog, I make no guarantees that what I'm about to write has anything to do with the world existing outside of my head) matchup in quite a while: the Pipettes vs. the Long Blondes.

The Pipettes, "ABC" - Of course, it's entirely plausible to say that this whole concept isn't even a contest in the first place what with the Pipettes having the distinct advantage in terms of acclaim and, more critically, sales - obviously this is somewhat less relevant than it was for Blur vs. Oasis since the Pipettes and the Long Blondes together probably haven't moved as many units to date as "My Humps" moved yesterday alone, but let's not pretend that it's not significant that one of these bands sells out singles on pre-orders and the other, well, is the Long Blondes. It's certainly not hard to see what all the fuss is about since the Pipettes do make throwback indie-pop which sounds genuinely great; they just keep releasing song after song jam-packed with hooks which work even better as vehicles for the Pipettes' tangible enthusiasm for the sound than for the insanely catchy music, and apart from indie sadsacks who spend all their time bemoaning Harold Budd's decision to sell out and go all poppy with Lovely Thunder, that's a pretty irresistable career move. I mean, "ABC" was the first single they ever released (although this version comes from their upcoming debut We Are The Pipettes) - you're going to tell me a band that comes bursting out of the gate with a song as packed with Memphis horns and three-part harmonies and lines - which don't even fall flat! - like "He knows about the sonic spectrum, dammit/But he don't know how to move me" - you're telling me that's a band without a fighting shot at winning whatever artificial competition they happen to find themselves in? I mean, We Are The Pipettes isn't my favorite album of the year (although it's definitely rankable at the moment, certainly no mean feat in a year like this), but it sounds chock-full of hits in a way that the Long Blondes haven't even managed simply looking at their singles - hell, if anything, We Are The Pipettes sounds more like a hit record than the Pipettes' own rather stellar singles discography would have indicated, a rather long row to hoe if I do say so myself.

That being said:

The Long Blondes, "Big Infatuation" - There is the not-insignificant fact that the Long Blondes run laps around the Pipettes when it comes to expanding my horizons, or at least insofar as that miserably hippiesque term can be applied to the merits of one kitschy indie throwback guitar-pop band vis-a-vis another one. I don't know if I've come across a Long Blondes single that I enjoy as immediately or as thoroughly as "ABC" or "Dirty Mind" or "Your Kisses Are Wasted On Me" - duh - but a peek at the play count on my iPod tells a different story, one that sees me going back to the Blondes' unflinchingly cerebral take on girl-pop long after the Pipettes' pop bloom has parted ways with the rose. I mean, it's one thing to write a note-perfect pop song - it's certainly an excellent thing, but it's the kind of thing that happens so regularly and seemingly randomly that it's been accomplished by both Amerie and Modest fucking Mouse within half a Senatorial election cycle. It is, however, another thing entirely to write a song like "Big Infatuation" - palpably inferior to "Pull Shapes", yeah, but still so irrresistable that I'm even willing to overlook an unignorable shoutout to the direst movie ever made, let alone to then consign it to obscurity for all time by shrugging it off as a b-side. In other words, the appeal of the Blondes isn't rooted so much in how they gratify your ears as it is in how they dare your brain to find a way to like them - "Hey Mr. 'I Only Like One Le Tigre Song', wanna see if you can find a way to get down to some chicks shrieking about British transit?" "Oh yeah? Betcha won't like five minutes of languid, swirling indie disco anchored around the phrase 'Giddy Stratospheres!" "Yeah, well, uh, let's see how much tension you can blow off by way of the phrase 'Before I met you/I never wore dresses like that'" et cetera, right on through their entire repetoire. Hopefully you begin to see my point.

Of course, in the long run, this is a war with plenty of fighting yet to come; the success (or lack thereof, perish the thought) of We Are The Pipettes should be a good benchmark, although the Blondes' continuing singles output (keep an eye out for "Once & Never Again" in a few weeks) certainly hints at an album on the horizon. All that's certain at this moment is that there's a whole passel of fetching lasses dotting the English popscape at the moment cranking out home run after home run (or, at the very least, standup triple after standup triple); we all kinda win with that one.

(And anyway, if I had to pick a winner, I'd probably be ornery and go with the Havana Guns - after all, if there's nothing else worth learning from that whole Blur vs. Oasis fooferaw last century, it's that the smart money's always on the band with the best song.)

(We Are The Pipettes is currently scheduled for release on Memphis Industries on July 3rd; in the meantime, click here to buy Transgressive Sounds, a compilation from Transgressive Records featuring "ABC" from Amazon.co.uk)
(Click here to buy earlier Long Blondes singles, including the Paul Epworth-produced "Separated By Motorways" featuring "Big Infatuation" on the flip, from Amazon.co.uk)