Real-Time Record Review: The Glimmers, "Fabriclive.31"

Fuk U Dick & Queef
(image source)

Three things occurred to me the other day:

1. Aside from magesterial mixes from Cut Copy and Rub'n'Tug a few months back, I've gotten absolutely nothing worth keeping from my subscription to Fabric's long-running series of mix CDs. Not, mind you, that this came as a surprise - part of the fun of randomly discovering music by checking your mailbox entails listening to a lot of stuff which patently isn't for you, so I'd basically been bracing for an onslaught of crappy mixes since I hit "send" on my application (or more preceisely, since I realized that I was going to subscribe despite the Fabric series being a hotbed of tedious minimal house "action"). Still doesn't mean I haven't noticed, though.

2. Despite being overpoweringly underwhelmed by nearly every release of the Glimmers that I've ever run across, I'm still holding out hope that their contribution to the series will be worth the hour-twenty it asks of me. Just because they may have found a way to make Bloc Party's "Banquet" boring, after all, doesn't take away from the fact that their Fabric mix contains Optimo AND Roxy Music AND LCD Soundsystem AND Prins Thomas AND the Human League (in instrumental form, but nut it out).

3. DJ mixes seem ideal for this whole real-time project to which I'm beginning to take a rather fierce shine (even if the results so far have been kinda underwhelming from where I'm sitting) - in principle, they're all discrete experiences, so it makes sense to keep a running diary of, y'know, experiencing them. In effect, of course, most of them tend to suck, but in that case I just have more elbow room to make with the funny. Win-win(-win).

So let's do this. For the record, since I ripped the mix as one contiguous track, I'll be going by the time of the CD itself rather than by any of the tracks; to atone (and also to keep ye olde mp3 content coming), I'll post my favorite/the most representative track at the end. ANYWAY.

1. Roxy Music, "Same Old Scene" (Glimmers remix)

00:10 - I was never particularly fond of the way the Fabric mixes just seem to jump right into the beat; I like it better when mixes open with some sort of flourish before giving way to the relentless oonce-ooncery of the beat. But hey, they're obviously kicking this one off with the track that's going to get all the punters to go "Eh, it's just twenty bucks", so I can deal with it.
00:38 - DEY COMING TROO YOR WINDOZE, DEY COMING TROO DA WALLZ
01:22 - Well, they certainly brought the schmaltz in effectively (and I mean that as a compliment!) Actually, this song's pretty much a winner so far - admittedly I'm not a particularly ardent Roxy Music fan (the next person to convince me that I need more than one Roxy Music album in my collection besides Country Life'll be the first), but it's still always fun whenever I can't convince myself that I'm actually hear
03:29 - I've been writing for a couple of minutes, so I haven't gotten the chance to give the Glimmers credit for making the chorus fucking SHIMMER. Real good track right here, kids.

2. Fingerprintz, "Wet Job"

04:50 - I approve wholeheartedly of mixes heavy on the vocals. Fuck a dub mix. Not that this is particularly compelling or anything, but gawd after Marco Carola's minimal house plod-a-thon last month it's like manna from heaven.

3. The League Unlimited Orchestra, "Things That Dreams Are Made Of" (Instrumental remix)

07:07 - SLICK mix between two tracks which, on the surface, wouldn't seem to have much to do with each other rhythmically. This mix is turning out pretty damn good so far, I do have to admit.
08:13 - That being said (and in reference to my last point), the vocal version of "Things That Dreams Are Made Of" just flat-out makes a hole in the ground with the instrumental version - I literally can't think of a single reason to play the instrumental instead of the vocal other than to show off how deep your record collection runs.

4. Pop Dell' Arte, "No Way Back"

09:32 - I also like it when transitions give themselves away - not when they just suddenly show up in the course of a track playing itself out, of course, but done properly, they can make a song sound like it's evolving naturally. Like, say, here.
11:28 - Bog-standard deep house song about losing control and having no way back and so on. EXCEPT FOR THOSE CYMBALS. God bless the hi-hat; I can't imagine life with just a lo-hat would be any kind of life worth living.
12:35 - What the fuck? Did they resuscitate Arthur Russell to sing on this? And more importantly, why?
13:21 - For three years I worked in a hospital processing medical records, resulting in thousands and thousands of pictures of ghastly medical trauma passing through my desk. I say this because I'm reaching back to that place in order to tune out everything except those hi-hats out.

5. The Glimmers, "Kobe's In Columbia"

14:13 - "Hey, let's do 'Doom's Night', but make it really really rhythmically sedate!"
14:54 - "Hey, the kids like clickety-clackers, right? Let's give 'em a fuckload of 'em!" (Not that the kids don't like clickety-clackers, of course [who the fuck doesn't like clickety-clackers?]; the kids merely like stuff to happen besides clickety-clacking.)
15:59 - I get the feeling that the Glimmers were born to produce at least one record for the Rapture before they die. You don't even want to know how massively this track would be improved with just a few histrionics.

6. Prins Thomas vs. Blackbelt Andersen, "En Real Tjukkas"

17:11 - Aaaaaand that would be an example of a bad transition. On the plus side, this track's got the Optimo cowbellatry peppering Prins Thomas' sneering disco fury, so at least we ended up somewhere good.
18:22 - BAP BAP BAPBAP BAPBAP. Too bad Tower's been picked clean - my CD collection could really stand for that Liquid Liquid compilation. (And the new Liars album and the second Portishead album, but let's not start going down that road.)
19:25 - I have no idea if this is a transition or just a new part of the song. Ripping mixes as one track: not necessarily the brilliant idea it might seem to be.

7. The Holy Ghost, "The Word" (The Dub)

20:23 - Oh, right, maybe it starts being a new song where the artist announces themselves. Patience: For Suckers.
21:15 - I basically like everything about this song that doesn't sound like it's been rejiggeredto give the effect of space. Of course, since that's like two or three elements of the song, well...
22:13 - Okay, I see that I'm going to be making a fool of myself over this album's use of live drums for the duration of its running time. Credit where it's due - the Glimmers certainly do know how to bang on a skin or two.

8. Sons And Daughters, "Dance Me In" (JD Twitch and the Truffle Club's Optimo remix)

23:10 - *sound of needle being plucked from one groove and dropped into this (AWESOME) mix* And yet, as before, we are all the richer for the sudden shift.
23:59 - Speaking of Tower, I actually bought The Repulsion Box on a whim when I stopped by to pick the bones clean a few days back and WOWZERS was I ever wrong about that band; turns out they're basically like a version of Flogging Molly for people who actually like music.
25:48 - Best breakdown in an Optimo remix ever? Certainly no argument from this corner (and dammit I liked their Richie Havens remix a lot)

9. Neal Howard, "The Gathering"

27:18 - Hello neo-acid-house track undeserving of holding the previous track's jock - my name's James!
27:50 - I'm a straight white American guy; do I still have to pretend like I like acid house? Can't I just listen to that Shit Robot remix of "Dragon" again instead?

10. Freddie Mercury, "Love Kills" (More Oder Rework by the Glimmers)

30:04 - What the hell is this kickass evil-sounding bit? It's like they made a track specifically so that they'd have something to mix in and out of New Order' s "Bizarre Love Triangle" with. Not, mind you, that this is anything other than a good idea.
31:13 - WOW this song is swirling all around like a motherfucker. TAKE ME BACK, KEVIN NEALON/GLIMMERS.
31:55 - To everyone who sees the tracklisting and goes "FREDDIE MERCURY FAGGIT MUSIC LOL YEAH RIGHT" (and I sincerely hope that that's nobody reading this site), please rest assured that Freddy exists on this song in the most oblique sense ever so far - they just kinda punctuate the song with his yelps and so on. It works a lot better than you think considering that it's FREDDIE FUCKING MERCURY and squandering any opportunity to try and stare down the freight-train of his personality is basically like kicking your mom right in the catcher's mitt. Like, POW.

11. Mekon, "Boy Bitten By Lizard" (feat. Rita Brown) (Padded Cell remix)

34:18 - Hey, guess what song isn't nearly as much fun to listen to as that last song? Go on, guess.
35:10 - The next person who explains the appeal of the Mekons to me will be the first. No, that's not an invitation to start in with the comments section, I'm perfectly fine watering and nurturing my prejudices THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
36:03 - Okay, this song as a whole is a big ol' bag of five-out-of-ten-ness, but that bassline really pretty spectacular. Still, I'm sure you could have found a comparable one somewhere other than in some dull-ass song that sounds hell-bent on repurposing that Latin freestyle beat into house music.

12. Freez, "I.O.U." (I.Dub.U)

37:38 - PLANET! PLANET ROCK! ZOOMzoomzoomzoomzoom. Yes, we're breaking new ground now!
38:45 - I probably should have mentioned that Planet Rock can suck it. I SAID IT.
39.32 - Oh goody, now we've reached the PROGRESSIVE BREAKS~ bit! Surely no more proven way of attracting me to your musical cause exists than to throw my embarassing musical crushes back in my face. I can only presume that the last half of this record is nothing but Gravity Kills samples.

13. Chris "The Glove" Taylor & David Storrs, "Reckless"

40:50 - GET RECKLESS! RECKLESS! RECKLESSRECKLESSRECKLESS! DAVID STORR GONNA MAKE YOU MOVE!
41:19 - I have to admit that if Diplo threw this in the middle of one of his sets I probably wouldn't either notice or give a shit. Still not gonna stop me from making copious fun of this.
43:02 - "You gotta hear this kid! He's like Salt-n-Pepa with manjunk!"

14. George Kranz, "Din Daa Daa"

43:36 - This would be the song that I was completely confident that I'd heard before but, upon reaching it in the mix, can't imagine ever having heard it before. I have no idea what that means, but it's not like
44:43 - Two facts about this song: one, that if someone wanted to press a single with "Popcorn" on the a-side and this on the b, you'd basically have an unstoppably, irresistably stupid artifact, and two, that the DFA could turn this into the world-wreckingest single of all time. No lie.

15. LCD Soundsystem, "Disco Infiltrator"

46:06 - OH HEY SPEAKING OF.
46:19 - I never really figured out why my friends never really took to this song as The Song That Gets Played At Everyone's Parties In Between "Mr. Brightside" And Whatever Other Ubiquitous Songs Get Played At Twenty-Something Hipster Fortified-Wine-Tasting Functions. Perhaps my friends are stupid. Lord knows I got Delia and Gavin records for days that bear that point out.
47:55 - I'd forgotten how much niggling little stuff this song has going on in it - there's stuff that shows up for a few bars and then disappears forever without throwing me off, and it's just fucking cool. Maybe that's just the price a record that knowingly includes a bonus disc that crushes it under its boot has to pay. I unno.
50:24 - Oh, right, this song kinda does go on. Still doesn't let my friends completely off the hook, though.

16. Urban Jungle, "Bad Man" (Black Dog Bite mix)

51:02 - So we're starting to enter the home stretch here, and I gotta say that this mix is pretty good so far - maybe not up there with its aforementioned Cut Copy/Rub'n'Tug mix-brethren, but it's at least up there with that Freeform Five mix that I really do need to write about since it's pretty damn good.
52:06 - Dubby disco: really great. Oppressively dubby disco: not so much. Although I suppose this must be what it's like to live next door to or directly below my apartment.

17. Black Slate, "Sticks Man"

53:11 - OOH RHYTHMIC PLAYFULNESS HOW INNOVATIVE AND DARING
54:08 - Maybe I just hate it when DJs go like HEY SINCE YOU'RE ALL SUBJECT TO OUR WHIM WE'RE GOING TO FORCIBLY SLOW THINGS DOWN NOW because it's exactly the kind of thing I'd do if I ever DJed anywhere ever. You'll know it's me when "NY Excuse" suddenly gives way to the original mix of Dawn Penn's "No No No"

18. Urban Jungle, "Bad Man" (Black Dog Bite mix)

56:28: READY FOR THE NEXT SONG BOSS

19. Howie B, "My Speedboat Is Faster Than Yours"

57:28 - I seem to remember Howie B's Fabric mix being the free one sent to me when I joined the club. I also seem to remember him working with someone who knowingly called themselves "Snuten". Naturally I can't be bothered to look stuff like this up, not that this track is making any sort of case for me to do so.
58:52 - Man, I love some music nakedly eager to climb up its own ass but this is a little bit too much. Imagine Justice with all the rockingness wholly divorced from it and you're on the right track.

20. Pierre Henry, "Messe Pour Le Temps: Too Fortiche"

60:05 - Okay, sweet - there's going to be a weird-ass outro section - I love weird-ass outro sections where the DJ's clearly just scrambling to play all his/her favorite tracks while he/she's still got the crowd at hand. If I ever DJ anywhere ever, I promise everyone that the last song I'll play is going to be the Flying Pickets' "Only You" JUST BECAUSE I CAN.
61:27 - Okay, this is kinda shitty, weird or not. Third-rate shit unfit for that Psyche Out mix = save that shit for someone who can actually appreciate virtuosity.

21. Arpadys, "Monkey Star"

62:43 - THANKS GUYS, THANKS FOR SAVING THE SECOND MOST BADASS SONG UNTIL RIGHT AT THE END.
63:18 - seriously, this is instantly pretty great. Lizzy Mercier Descloux is "singing" over it in my mind as I type.
63:58 - Actually, maybe that's the appeal of the whole Glimmers project - reviving "mutant disco" as a genre. If correct, I have mixed feelings about this (that Mutant Disco compilation Ze Records put out a few years back is one of the crucial texts in the expansion of my appreciation for music but even I have to admit that there are really only seven or eight songs that actually kick ass), but since it's given us this and that Roxy Music mix way up top, I'll deal with it.
66:09 - It's pretty weird that I'd hear this within a few days of encountering Loose Joints' "Pop Your Funk" for the first time. O LIFE, YOU MYSTERIOUS VIXEN
67:02 - Hell of a rhythm guitar player - yes, Nile Rodgers would wreck his ass, but it's still some decent+ licksmanship. At the very least, it's way more engaging than all the Disco Theramin Action Action Action this track's throwing in the forefront.
69:03 - And we're done.

So should you buy this? Well, you should certainl give it a listen - on the list of modern dubby-ass disco mix sets, it's very much not as good as the Optimo Essential Mix or pretty much any random episode of Beats In Space or that twice-aforementioned Rub'n'Tug mix, but it does deserve to be mentioned alongside them at least; the mixing is pretty good across the board with extensive and well-purposed usage of lots of elements of the songs as bridges, and at least a third of the songs are, at their baseline readings, Not Shitty , so there's that. The only song that you absolutely have to check out is that Roxy Music remix, so let's get you equipped with that particular bubble lead:

Roxy Music, "Same Old Scene" (Glimmers remix - mixed track)

Whether or not you like the track itself is beside the point; when you're listening to it, just remember that if you want more songs that sound like that, you'll find twenty-one of them - of varying degrees of quality, true, but they're still there - on their actual CD. Even if their mix isn't a keeper in the accepted rock-critic-hyperbole sense, that's exactly what it deserves to be called in the literal sense. For now, at least. (Click here to buy Fabriclive.31 from the label - you'll have to scroll down a little for the link to put it in your cart)

Stevie Wonder, "Take Up A Course In Happiness" - A little while back, I was seized with an uncontrollable urge to make a copy of Stevie Wonder's Where I'm Coming From my own; this is partially due to a curiosity to hear what "If You Really Loved Me", easily the Stevie song I've heard more than any other thanks to North Carolina's baffling oldies programming working in my favor for once, sounded like in the context of the other tracks on the album, but really mostly just because life really is too short to NOT own as many Stevie Wonder albums as the Good Lord and your banking institution of choice will allow. It's great, of course - god, it's Stevie Wonder in the 1970s; he could record himself trying to eat a whole Christmas ham by himself and it'd be worth listening to - but it's also a pretty bewildering record in its own right, mostly because I'm not sure if I've ever heard Stevie get this weird before; large sections of this record almost sound better suited for inclusion on Nilsson Schmilsson than a Stevie Wonder album. Granted, this doesn't always make for a winner of a song, especially when Stevie can't restrain himself from getting funky and rides the grooves down to death (q.v. "Do Yourself A Favor"), but when it works, it's practically magical - "Take Up A Course In Happiness", for instance, sounds both joyful AND puzzlingly mannered enough to pass for the opening credits to, I dunno, some poorly-conceived sixties comedy starring James Coburn or something (YES, I RENT FROM CINEFILE). But it's also a damn nice forerunner of Stevie's forays into other genres in later years - "Take Up A Course In Happiness" is to cod-Broadway or cod-hippie soul what "Master Blaster" was to cod-reggae, I suppose, and, as with all Stevie attempts at cod-*, is completely worth your time just to hear what it sounds like when a true master tries to figure out just how to make a genre work for him. And given how many songs on Where I'm Coming From might fall under that umbrella, it's a work that borders on frighteningly great - I mean, just consider the fact that you can compare Stevie's fifth- or sixth-best album to the decade to Harry Nilsson's best album ever and it doesn't fare too badly for the comparison. (Where I'm Coming From isn't currently in print in the US or the UK, but you can still find a used copy through GEMM if you're so inclined. Of course, I just bought the Japanese import, so a remastered re-release is assuredly due any minute now.)

The Duke Spirit, "A Message To Pretty" (Love cover) - Out of all the bands that people yell at me for never finding the time to learn to love their music, I'm probably most embarassed by my all-consuming rock-headedness towards Love, especially now that Arthur Lee's passed on to that great drum circle in the sky and I'm sure to find myself coming face to face with records that point me in the direction of Forever Changes almost as a kneejerk response for the rest of my life. (Love: the hippie Gang of Four?) Fortunately, the Duke Spirit seem to have been substantially more affected by Lee's passing than I was and recorded Covered In Love, an EP of tributary covers dedicated to Lee (and Desmond Dekker and someone else whose name I forget), one of which (hint: the one I posted) is so mind-warpingly gorgeous that I can't imagine making Love the object of intense study in days to come. Granted, my newfound appreciation for this song owes an awful lot to the Duke Spirit's woozily gentle (especially when the backing vocals show up to underscore that "I go slip-slip, you go slip-slip" bit) approach to songcraft, but they're clearly just elucidating elements of the song already there without question; I'd like to think that I'd be checking out a song this turgid with plaintative harmonies and searingly emotionally-rattled phraseology (although let's not deny that "Now I've got no problems/All I've got is you" = even as you read this sentence, these lines are soundtracking some contemptibly earnest hipster boy's attempt to de-bra some infuriatingly compliant girl ARGH CAN'T STOP MASOCHISTICALLY RELIVING COLLEGE MUST ATTEMPT TO GET HIGHER) whether a bunch of British kids had Mazzy Star'd it up or not. It just might take me some time to get there. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. (Click here to buy the Covered In Love EP from Rough Trade Digital)