In An Effort To Curb The Epidemic Of Feelings Going Around

No more of this

So I put together another mix, thereby affording myself the following benefits:

1. Keep myself from feeling guilty over making four posts in the month of February (seriously, jesus, what is this, a sXe zine?)
2. Keep myself from having to dig up any scintillating new content, always a tricky proposition towards the beginning of the year. Longtime readers (i.e. those who've been reading since December) will recognize a bunch of these songs; I do hate to double-dip, but part of me looks at this as sort of a showroom for these songs - after all, dance music can only sound so good removed from the context of dancing, or at the very least from the idea of the context of dancing. Or something.
3. Allow myself a few more days to get ready to do a real-time review of Neon Bible. Word on the street is these Arcade Fire kids could be big! I should probably check this out before some sort of bandwagon of insane, blinder-locked fans takes shape.

(aside: I'm calling it here - if the Shins can make it to #2 on a record selling 120,000 copies, Neon Bible unequivocally has a shot of being the #1-selling album in the country the week following its release. To be perfectly honest, at this point I'll be pretty shocked if it doesn't happen - I really don't have a problem believing that there's 120,000 Arcade Fire fans, especially since their fans tend to be the type of fans belonging to the cult of Demonstrating One's Love For A Band Through Buying Shit Without Necessarily Thinking Said Purchases Through. Of course, I also have no idea what's coming out next week, so there's plenty of room for error. I've been wrong before. It happened once just a couple of weeks ago. Honest!)

ANYWAY: My point is that I've made another mix set (only an hour-long one this time), and here it is.

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1ennqg

1. Go Home Productions, "Papa Was A Clock"

Y'all know my steez; I do enjoy a good bit of melodrama and theatricality (WHO, MOI!??!??????!?) in my music, and as a result I have an uncontrollable attraction to the idea of "pulling back the curtain". I'm not a hundred percent positive that this mashup manages to pull that trick off; letting a mix kick off with the unrepentently dulcet piano tones of "Clocks" is pretty much the musical equivalent of fast-forwarding through Armageddon until they touch down on the asteroid (more on Armageddon when my copies of The Disintegration Loops arrive, but that's for another day). Nevertheless, I stand by my ethnic slur.

2. The Avalanches, "Ray Of Zdarlight"

Has any musical act ever done half as gloriously shitty a job of fading into obscurity as the Avalanches? I mean, it would be more or less impossible for them to make an album even approaching Since I Left You under the hungry, watchful eyes of a world full of eager consumers (if only because the process of putting an album like Since I Left You together in the first place demands the kind of concentration the market economy basically exists to subvert). So what do they do? Put out a half-dozen unimpeachably weird, nigh-unsettlingly glorious remixes hinting at a new direction capped off with a couple of unofficial (yet distributed under their aegis) mash-ups and re-edits hinting at new vistas of explosive fun (two pretty neat tricks for the folx responsible for the least-expected, most-successful party record of the decade)? Well nice going, guys; now I want your record more than anything else on the horizon (or at least up to the point where we start listing Delia & Gavin's potential releases, but let's be fair).

3. Paul McCartney, "Temporary Secretary" (Radio Slave remix)

I had been exceptionally excited to see Switch live at the inexplicably-named Check Yo Ponytail weekly last month, but unfortunately it just wasn't meant to be. Mostly, I blame the crowd, or more precisely the lack thereof; I know it's LA and we're all too cool to do things like actually go to the clubs to hear music and drink and have fun and put James Cobo's dick in your vagina, but COME THE FUCK ON - when I left at 10:30 (some of us have to be at work at six in the goddamn morning), there were literally less than ten people in attendence, counting myself and all the various and sundry friends of the DJs milling about. For those of us smart enough to show up early, however, it should be pointed out that two of those DJs were the mighty and magnificent Acid Girls, back from Paris ostensibly to rock shit. Of course, with only a handful of people actually making themselves available to be rocked, the row to be hoed was insurmountably long, but thankfully that didn't stop the kids from dropping in some exceptionally filthy techno which I never dreamed I'd ever get to hear out in public. The highlight had to be Radio Slave's remix of "Temporary Secretary", a track I've had on my hard drive for maybe five years (ugh, jesus) by this point and yet still never dreamed I'd get to see whether or not it could singe the hairs off the back of my neck simply by virtue of its sheer rockingness; as it turns out, it sure can. I really have wallowed in my own idiocy long enough letting the Girls' dates pass me by; if you live in the area (or in Costa Mesa, their homebase), I strongly suggest you avoid being as stupid as me.

4. Brazilian Girls, "Jique" (MSTRKRFT remix)

MSTRKRFT is actually in town (opening for John Digweed, an event which has brought me much closer to an approximation of seeing Wire opening for Genesis than I ever thought I'd get) this weekend; I'm actually supposed to interview them for the Rockit on Monday, and I can't decide whether I'm more excited or terrified by the prospect. Mostly it's because of my deep and profound lack of experience interviewing people; apart from one email interview I conducted with the remarkably unresponsive I'm From Barcelona a few weeks back, I haven't conducted an interview since my fifth-grade teacher sent us home with an assignment to ask our grandparents questions about their lives (conclusions drawn: 1. my grandparents have been alive a lot longer than me, 2. the Great Depression was even less fun than it sounds, and 3. the whole world thinks horses are more fascinating than me). Adding to the complexity of all this is the fact that MSTRKRFT, or at least the half of MSTRKRFT who used to be in Death From Above 1979, are world-renowned for putting up with a spectacularly miniscule amount of shit from people who interview them; it kinda feels like I'm being sent off to interview G. Gordon Liddy. But of course, all of this takes a backseat to my gripping terror that I'm going to be incapable from keeping this interview from devolving into an episode of the Chris Farley Show, because the bottom line about me and MSTRKRFT is that jesus fuck do I ever like their remixes. I mean, case in point.

5. Prodigy, "Girls" (Rex The Dog remix)

Part of me thinks this is the apotheosis of this whole jacking-techno movement; I can't really imagine a song sounding more like a videogame ecstatically collapsing in on itself than Rex The Dog managed to right here. Of course, I'm also the dumbass who thinks Neon Bible is going to top the charts next week, so let's just move along.

6. Editors, "All Sparks" (Phones remix)
7. Franz Ferdinand, "Do You Want To" (Metronomy remix)
8. Kasabian, "Me Plus One" (Jacques Lu Cont remix)

PAUL EPWORTH, METRONOMY, JACQUES LU CONT RELEASE BLISTERINGLY KICKASS REMIXES - we'll have that story and more at the top of the hour, but first: fighting the frizzies!

9. Prodigy, "Climbatize" (Christopher D'abuc remix)

OH DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T LOVE FAT OF THE LAND BACK IN THE DAY. It's all right. You're among friends. No need to do your "hilarious" imitation of Keith Flint's jerky-assed dance for the purposes of lols. No need to talk about how "hot" the video for "Smack My Bitch Up" is. Turn that South Carolina baseball cap around with pride, kids; you may all be ashamed of your big beat memories, but I sure ain't, especially not when it comes to "Climbatize", a song which, along with the apparently-criminally-slept-on "Narayan", probably ranks in the top five or six songs ever to have potentially appeared on Amp. D'abuc's mix wisely avoids overly fucking with a good thing, instead girding the underlying beat with a steady 4/4 and stretching the whole affair out to about 9 minutes, which is just fine by me. If it's not fine by you, I'm sure there's someone out there waiting for you with open arms and Besard Lakes MP3s by the fistful.

10. Herbert, "Moving Like A Train" (Smith N Hack remix)

The more I listen to this song - and I listen to it a lot - the more convinced I become that I'm listening to one of the, like, two or three best songs I've heard this year (ignoring for the moment the fact that it actually came out in The Oh Six). I'm sure a lot of people start reaching for the fast-forward button two or three minutes in, but I swear to God they're missing out like you wouldn't believe; Smith N Hack's work on this track bears the same kind of relentlessness more typically found in something like Vitalic's "La Rock 01", only since they managed to get it out of such a comparatively gentle sonic pallette (seriously - it's like they reached into a ridiculously filthy techno anthem's mouth, grabbed its tongue with both hands, and yanked that sonofabitch inside out) it's arguably even more impressive. It also happens to fit in really well here, if I do say so myself.

11. Services, "Element Of Danger" (A Touch Of Class! remix)

Full disclosure: Because A Touch Of Class! yr boy, I have a promo copy of this coming in the mail right now, but they'll have to excuse me if I couldn't help peeking - I just don't have it in me to pass a remix of "Element Of Danger" by and then manage to sleep at night. Luckily for me and them, their take on the track might even be superior to MSTRKRFT's, which in turn is arguably the best remix they've ever done; the outtro kinda does go on for a while, but it's not like the groove they're rocking is anything worth cutting out early on anyway, so I'll live. I managed to restrain myself from cherry-picking anything else off A Touch Of Class Still Sucks!, but if it's half as good as this, we're about to get very familiar with the part that comes right before Part B . And I swear that that's literally the only joke I can or could ever steal from Scrubs.

12. Long Blondes, "Platitudes"

Like I said, I like big melodramatic moves in my DJ sets, and using "Platitudes" as a set-closer certainly qualifies. But it's also worth using simply as a chance to right a wrong I've been perpetrating since first coming into contact with the Blondes, namely mistaking lead singer Kate Jackson as the lead songwriter when in fact the only songs for which Jackson bears any responsibility are "Separated By Motorways" and some other track off Someone To Drive You Home which I forget right now. As it turns out, the real songwriting force behind the most forceful songwriters on the planet today is actually guitarist/keyboardist Dorian Cox, so let's all take a moment to dap out Dorian for dreaming up something like six or seven of the most outrageously identifiable songs I've heard in a bajillion years. It's still pretty hard to think of Jackson as a non-lyricist - her delivery of Cox' lyrics are at least as culpable for their potency as Cox' articulation - but just because Dorian wasn't blessed with the kind of coo that's led ships to dash themselves against the rocks doesn't make me any less of an idiot for ignoring her contributions. Lord knows I hope she's in some way responsible for this one; I still say this is probably one of the ten best songs in the Long Blondes' catalogue, and it's a testament to their boundless promise as a band that that's a huge compliment even at this early point in their life cycle.

And, because we can't go letting the Hype Machine skip past this post, here's BONUS MP3 CONTENT ZOMG:

Sister Sledge, "Lost In Music" (Bernard Edwards & Nile Rodgers 1984 remix) - Speaking of dancing in LA, that crowd at Switch sure could have learned a thing or two from the crowd Tim Sweeney drew to the Mountain Bar last Friday, who packed the joint full and kept the dancefloor throbbing. And while I'm sure most of them just showed up to make the scene, those who did make it out sure got one hell of a treat, as Sweeney just went ballistic on everyone; I remember hearing the Emperor Machine remix of "Marble House" as I walked in the door, and still somehow he actually managed to push the energy up from there. As far as I'm concerned, though, the night peaked when he dropped in the world-obliteratingly awesome 1984 remix of "Lost In Music", one of the few instances to which I can point of an artist actually improving a song by revisiting it (i.e. the exact opposite of what happens whenever New Order plays "Love Will Tear Us Apart"). That's not to say that the original isn't unimpeachable, of course; merely that by adding a thousand little hooks onto which a packed dancefloor might conceivably latch, Rodgers and Edward managed to find a way to make one of the all-time great disco songs even more fun to dance to. Frankly if the whole floor hadn't come alive at that point, I might have had to stab several motherfuckers in the eye; luckily everyone went berzerk and escaped with their eyeballs intact.

Connan & the Mockasins, "Sneaky Sneaky Dogfriend" - Of all the questions dogging this blog since its inception, "When are you going to cover the vibrant New Zealand indie-rock scene?!?" may be the...oh fuck it, even I can't fake it that good. I know even less about Connan and the Mockasins than I do about New Zealand (and all I know about new Zealand is that it plays the role of South Carolina to a country apparently settled entirely by convicts and supermodels), but I know enough to hear a rollicking good time when I hear one, and I'll be goddamned if I hear anything else whenever they launch into the chorus of "Sneaky Sneaky Dogfriend". It's not even the song itself that's so catchy - it's their enthusiasm for getting it outside of their heads, as evidenced by their gloriously sloppy play and the way they all seem to snap to attention to practically shriek "Heezasnee-kee-snee-keeDGFRND!!!!" at the end of the chorus. Seriously, I've been walking around all week with their titillating enthusiasm stuck in my head; God help us all if they ever stumble over a song which doesn't unavoidably smack of striving for "drinking anthem" status. (Click here to buy the "Sneaky Sneaky Dogfriend" single from HMV, the band's outlet of choice.)

ELSEWHERE
- I'm running out the door right now, but I would be remiss if I didn't congratulate Derek at Good Weather For Airstrikes for passing the million-visitor mark recently. A million visitors is an incomprehensible number even as an aggregate, so for Derek to cross it so quick really is remarkable. Of course, I suppose it helps that GWFAS is one of the, like, two or three best MP3 blogs in the game today, so there's that too. He's got a butt-ton of great stuff up right now from Pull Tiger Tail and Fear of Flying and LCD Soundsystem and like a squillion other bands too, so I would reccomend taking aim at being number two million and start visiting regularly if you don't already.

- And to answer your question: yes, this post was at least %90 motivated by a burning desire to use that picture.